May 22, 2018

Our Big Family

Some would say we have a big family.  Six children...is that big?   

By today's standards, probably.  

My own?  The bigger the better!  

We are usually met with, "Oh!"  So, I'm going to assume that, yes, we do have a large family, and we do in fact have "A LOT" of kids.




Here's a few FAQ in case you are contemplating a large family of your own.

You must be busy.  Nope, not really.  

How do you do it all?  I have a magic carpet bag.

How do you get everyone where they need to be?  They each know the way to their events.

Are they all yours?  Wait what!  Let me count again.

You're home all day with ALL of them?  Except when I jet set off alone.

You must be Catholic.  No, but somehow we figured it out.

You know how to prevent that right?  Yeah but it's so much fun.

The older ones must be a big help.  Duh, why do you think we kept having them.

Are you done?  IDK, we have a few more pages left (wink, wink).

How do you afford it?  Child labor.

When do you sleep?  I've penciled that in for when I'm dead.

Do you ever get me time?  When I lock myself in the laundry room to eat Snickers and guzzle wine.

What about date night?  We gaze at one another during Disney movies from separate couches.

That's a lot of kids!  Just doing my part to populate the earth.

Having a big family is work.  And just because we signed up for it does not mean it doesn't get hard, monotonous, expensive, loud, messy, or exhausting.  It doesn't mean I can't use a break.  Or a little help now and then.  It doesn't mean I don't sometimes close my eyes and live in a different universe momentarily.  It's not always rainbows and unicorns in here.

But, we want this life, and our kids are pure joy.  There's a lot of love in this busy, crazy house. 

May 14, 2018

30 Questions To Ask Your Baby

You can't make this stuff up people. 

I'm sure you've heard by now, that a woman (am I allowed to call her that), Deanne Carson, stated the other day that parents should ask permission of their babies to change their diapers.  Who knew, after five babies, I've been doing it all wrong. 

New parents, listen up.  There seems to be a new standard in caring for a helpless infant.  I thought I'd help you out.  After discussing some situations with my three month old baby girl, here is what we came up with.  The following is a list of permissions you must ask your newborn after he or she exists the restrictive confines of your womb under the most egregious circumstances often laden with drugs, loud commentary, and an audience - (wow, even during birth you've already broken the rules!).

1.  This is, by far, the most important question.  It will determine the fate of your kid for-ev-er.  Ready?  Happy birthday darling, do you prefer to be a girl or a boy?  Or rather something else?

2.  I'm sorry, is it okay to call you such terms of endearment?

3.  Since you have chosen your gender, is it okay to put you in gender specific clothing?  I brought several options, you may pick.

4.  If your child is a boy - do you prefer circumcision?  It will be painful, just letting you know so you're not mad at me when it hurts.  

5.  Do you like the name we've picked out?  You will have to live with this name for now, but you can always change it later.

6.  What about your last name?  

7.  Even though you were conceived and created from a "mother" and "father," do you prefer us to be on the birth certificate?

8.  May I take some pictures?

9.  May I share pictures on social media?

10.  May I give personal information (name, time of birth, measurements [don't want to chunky-shame if you're over nine pounds])?

11.  Do you prefer the breast or a bottle?  If you decide on the breast, shall I cover up?

12.  Would you like to be immunized?  Some studies show immunizations protect you from illness, others say they cause allergies and behavior problems.  Your call.

13.  Do you want to co-sleep?  Crib?  Belly or back?  Let me know, but make sure I get some sleep or you'll have to decide if it's okay to let you cry-it-out.

14.  How do you want to be soothed?  Singing, shhh-ing, rocking, patting?

15.  Would you like a pacifier?  Or would you like to gnaw on your hands?

16.  Will you snuggle a blankie, stuffed animal, or some other type of lovey?
17.  Where and when shall we go on our first outing?

18.  Do you have a religious preference?

19.  Should we celebrate holidays?  Fireworks are cool and all, but we may offend those not from America.

20.  Do you wish to read regularly?  You'll have to decide soon on the direction of your education, and reading to you could jump start your own reading not to mention algebraic equations before age four.

21.  While you're thinking ahead, I may want to pierce your ears in a few months.  Is that fine?

22.  Do you want siblings?  How many?

23.  You are so beautiful.  Is it okay to say so?  What about cute and adorable?

24.  I don't want to assume your moods, so I will always ask you if you're wet, poopy, tired, hot, cold, gassy, hungry, bored, or overstimulated.  Is there something else I should be checking for?

25.  Can I kiss you?

26.  Can others hold you?  

27.  Do you want me to stay home or put you in daycare where you can work on socialization?

28.  Do you want your father, oops, my significant other, to actively participate in your babyhood?
  
29.  Do I have permission to change your diaper?

30.  Oh, cloth or disposable?
Welcome to the world, kid...you're screwed!

May 5, 2018

Time Flies

Baby number six just completed our family.  She is already three months old.  I say "already," because three months happened in a blink.  

Where did the time go?

In three months, she already has the sweetest personality.  Big blueberry eyes stare at me when I catch her gaze, and then she smiles the cutest crooked grin.  She loves her hands, hates a dirty toosh, and wants her beauty sleep.  She rolls over, grabs toys, and scoots herself into the corner of her crib. 

All this development in just three short months.

I've seen it all happen.  I've savored every slobber, spit up, and scream.  I've cherished late night feedings and snuggles.  And ohhh, that baby smell.  I wish I could bottle it.

I love having babies.

Not that having another one hasn't come with its challenges.  This little thing has four older siblings here in the house who also need me.  It's been the perfect mixture of a whole lot of love and just as much chaos.  But I wouldn't want it any other way because some day, it will be over.  

Time flies.

Yep, that is about as cliche as it gets, but there's also nothing more true.

Our baby Emmy...Emmalyn Maysie



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